It’s been exactly 1 week since my world was altered. I currently lay on the lounge chair by the pool that my ex husband and his neighbor gained access to. Most pools and playgrounds are closed all across America for the most part. They had his friend’s daughter go over the fence and unlock it from the inside. It’s their community pool so I’m only a little annoyed. At least we’re following the rule of 10 people or less since there’s only 5 of us. It’s nice to see the dads hanging out with their daughters in the pool as if the world is normal. But nothing about this past week is normal.
Throughout all of this, normalcy is all I want for Lauralie. Her dad has been working from home for over a week. I’ve been laid off for the same amount of time. I still drop her off to him in the evenings and pick her up in the morning (as if I was going to work). I keep her on the same schedule. My “weekend” with her is still Monday and Tuesday and he still has his Saturday and Sunday.
Today is a special day, since he is usually off early on Fridays. I offered to watch her at his place while he worked from home. It went well. Lauralie and I stayed busy playing in her room and riding her Mercedes outside. We played with chalk and listened to Disney music.
This Friday afternoon is not normal. But it will be our new normal for now. My heart goes out to all who have lost their traditional school year, their businesses, their financial stability and their sanity.
I was excited for 2020. I started this blog, started my podcast “Mom’s Dirty Diary” and I was enjoying creating content and learning each week. Since the pandemic, I’m not able to connect with people like I wanted to in order to have them on the podcast with me. But I’m using this time to develop ideas that will be readily available when the 6 foot rule is over. I’m still enjoying writing for my blog.
I wake up every morning wondering if this is all real. Then I go out into the world and the reminders are everywhere. Traffic has been non existent. Uncertainty has been in abundance. My restaurant industry friends are more drunk than they have ever been, but at the same time, they’re taking time to work on improving themselves. I love to eat out at restaurants. It’s unreal that places (including mine) are closed for inside dining and/or closed all together. There is no happy hour to go with friends to. Mall and shopping plaza parking lots are absent of cars and people. Lauralie asks to go to Disney and I tell her it’s closed.
I realize I’ve taken for granted the access that we have to bars, restaurants, pools, parks and entertainment venues. I’ve never thought twice about flying or going to a concert or taking Lauralie to the bounce house. I’ve taken for granted running to the grocery store after 11pm for what I need, and it actually being there. In essence, it seems I’ve taken for granted my way of life.
On the other side of things, I am grateful about decisions that I’ve made in my life. I could be unhappy with life already (like some people are). If that was the case, this stay home order would be an absolute nightmare. I would be forced to face my unhappiness with myself and the situation. I love Florida and my home and those I surround myself with.
What have I learned from all of this? As my tattoo says “Cherish Life”. I will cherish every little detail from now on.
My biggest fear is getting the Corona Virus. Not because of what may happen to my body (the fever, physical pain, etc). But I’m terrified of having to quarantine away from my daughter. I can’t fathom the thought of being away from her. Therefore, I’m doing everything I can to keep her and I safe.
The Whitest Black Girl 