What do you think of a “sugar” relationship? That’s the question he asked me before I went on stage. I thought maybe I misheard him. I got on stage in shock. Should I be offended? Should I be honored? Did I hear him right? Those are the questions that ran through my head as I seductively completed my 3 songs. He came and tipped me and told me we’d finish the discussion tomorrow as he handed me a drink. He had to get back to work.
“Ladies!” I ran in the dressing room to tell my girls. “Guess what he just asked me?!” I said to them. They couldn’t guess and I didn’t have the patience for them to do so. I told them. They all agreed if I felt comfortable with him then I should do it. I’d never seen him outside of work and I never even gave him a lap dance before. How would I know if I was comfortable? And what did he expect? I had too many questions.
Tomorrow came and I was nervous to see him. He was a business man. Very smart, always well dressed with a nice tie and slacks and well spoken. Yes, he was very handsome. He had an ex wife and 2 kids. He was over 10 years my senior.
He greeted me with my favorite drink at the time (Malibu with pineapple juice and a splash of grenadine). He asked me again. “What do you think of a sugar relationship?” I sipped my drink and asked what that would entail. He told me that was up to me. I told him I needed more details since it was his idea. He said he simply wanted to spend time with me and pay me for it. I still couldn’t wrap my head around it. I told him I wanted what he expected of me in writing and that we could get coffee the next week and go over it. It was my first time and I wanted to be sure I fully understood.
We met at a Starbucks a few days later. He had his list in hand. He also brought a visa gift card with him as well. He gave me the gift card and the list. He wanted me to sleep with him, accompany him on trips and go on dates. I could do these things as often or as little as I wanted. He would pay me using Visa Giftcards (I’m not sure why). He would still visit me at the club as well.
I thought about it for a week and when I was sure, I answered him. I wrote “yes” on the paper he had given me. I wasn’t sure what to expect. We had known each other for about 6 months. I thought of us as good friends although he was older. We connected intellectually and I loved that. Plus, I found him attractive.
I’m a foodie so we went out to eat a lot. He always greeted me with flowers. I truly enjoyed spending time with him and I honestly felt bad that he was paying me to do so. But he had the money to spend and of course I wanted it, so it worked out.
The first time I was to sleep with him was awkward. He got a hotel room (since he lived 45 mins away) and he had flowers and wine set up in the room before I arrived. He was sweet. Too sweet. The whole situation felt awkward to me. I got the impression that he loved me once I finally thought about it. But I wanted to try it, so I did it.
After that, I kept it strictly platonic. He was affectionate and I wasn’t fond of it. I didn’t want love or complications. We would go out for lunch and that was all. I didn’t end up going out of town with him because I didn’t want to share a bed with him. He understood.
You never know what you would do until the opportunity is presented to you. I was surprised I couldn’t do it (with him). But it still worked out for both of us. He simply enjoyed my company. I would’ve spent time with him for free if he had asked. Don’t ever do anything you feel uncomfortable with, regardless of the price.
I’ve partaken in other successful “sugar” relationships after that. We’ll discuss later. A lot of those relationships take place because people are lonely and they feel that they have to pay for company. That breaks my heart.